I just re-read sister Beck's talk, after reading a post at Red State Blues. I remember when I listened to it the first time thinking that people were going to be upset over it, but reading it just now, I don't think there's really anything to be upset about. Church leaders have said repeatedly that individual circumstances require people to do what works for them. Sister Beck is just highlighting what our priorities ought to be if we are in a circumstance that allows it.
Have children if you can. Only an individual (Or couple) can determine what "can" means to them in the context of what our church leaders have said.
Make sure that those children know that you love the gospel (she's not saying we have to have perfectly dressed children, that was just an example of how some women in poor countries were showing their children that sacrament meeting is important to them).
Take care of your children and your homes. She's not saying that men have no part in those things. She's just saying it's important.
Be strong, and lead by example.
Don't miss out on opportunities of teaching your children the things that you value.
Don't get so busy doing good things that you miss out on essential things.
Be strong, and do the best we can. When Sister Beck says that we should be "the very best in the world at upholding, nurturing, and protecting families" she means because we have been given so much knowledge about how to do those things, we have been well prepared. Where much is given, much is required. She's not saying that we should do more than is possible or feel like failures because we are not perfect.
It's interesting to me that the only times I have felt discouraged about my ability as a mother has come from other women. Women in general put a lot of pressure on each other to look good, and have well behaved children, perfectly decorated homes, etc... I have never felt that coming from the church, so I think we need to be less up in arms about the words Sister Beck spoke and listen to the spirit of what she was saying. It's easy to grasp onto one sentence that we don't like on turn off our ears to what is really being taught.
I think if women in Utah really listened and embraced what Sister Beck said, there would be far less need for antidepressants. We don't have to do it all, we don't have to be perfect. What we can do as mothers to really make a difference in the lives of our children is simple, and doesn't involve perfect hair, expensive clothes, perfectly decorated homes, children who always have their hair combed and their clothes ironed. It involves simply loving, teaching, and not giving up.