This poem was written in 2002 at Gardenweb.com by pjwould.
Gold Leaves and Brown
--with apologies to Dr. Seuss, who was born March 2, 1904
~pj
Gold leaves and brown!
Gold leaves and brown!
I do not like gold leaves and brown!
I do not shred leaves, gold or brown.
I do not spread them on the ground.
Would you shred them here or there?
I would not shred them here or there.
I would not shred them anywhere.
I do not shred gold leaves and brown.
I do not spread them on the ground.
Would you shred them at Tom's house?
Would you shred them with your spouse?
I would not shred them at Tom's house.
I would not shred them with my spouse.
I would not shred them here or there.
I would not shred them anywhere.
I do not shred gold leaves or brown.
I will not have them on the ground.
Would you toss them in a box?
Would you mix in guts of lox?
Not in a box.
Nor guts of lox.
Not at Tom's house.
Not with my spouse.
I would not shred them here or there.
I would not shred them anywhere.
I would not shred gold leaves or brown.
I will not spread them on the ground.
Would you? Could you?
With annp?
Try it! Try it!
And you'll see.
I would not,
could not,
with annp.
You may like it with annp.
You may like weeds from the sea!
I would not like weeds from the sea,
Nor with annp! You let me be.
I won't shred leaves! Nor do I wish
To mix them up with bits of fish!
I do not lay them in a trench.
I do not stash them 'neath a bench.
I do not shred leaves here or there.
I do not shred them anywhere.
I do not shred in Hingham, Mass.
I will not have them on the grass!
A bin! A bin!
A bin! A bin!
Could you, would you,
in a bin?
Not in a bin! Not with annp!
And not with weeds plucked from the sea!
I would not, could not, ever wish.
To mix up leaves with scraps of fish.
I will not throw them in a pit.
I will not mix in bunny ****.
I will not shred them here or there.
I will not shred them anywhere.
I do not shred gold leaves or brown.
I do not like them on the ground.
Say!
Marty_H?
With Marty_H!
Would you shred with Marty_H?
I wouldn't, couldn't with Marty_H.
Would you with professor dirt?
I could not, with professor dirt,
Nor Marty_H, nor till it hurt.
Nor with annp, nor near the sea,
I won't shred leaves at all, you see.
Not at Tom's house. Not with my spouse.
Not with a box or bits of lox.
I will not shred leaves here or there.
I will not shred them anywhere!
Then would you heap them whole, like Sand?
I do not want leaves on my land!
Would you shred them as you wed?
I would not,
could not,
as I wed!
Would you add a crow that's dead?
I could not add a crow that's dead,
I could not, would not, as I wed.
I could not with professor dirt.
I would not cache leaves in a yert.
Not with annp! Not near the sea!
Not in a bin heaped to my chin!
I won't mix leaves with used-up grounds.
You will not see me making rounds.
I won't go on a nightly raid.
I will not join your leaf brigade.
I will not shred leaves here or there.
I do not want leaves ANYWHERE!
I do not shred gold leaves or brown!
I will not have them hanging round!
But would you shred them in New York?
And could you fluff them with a fork?
I could not, would not, in New York.
I would not, could not, with a fork.
Then could you shred them in B.C.?
Or up in Calumet, U.P.?
I could not shred them in B.C.!
I would not shred in the U.P.!
I could not shred at dusk or dawn.
I do not want leaves on my lawn!
Would you, with Alfie, in Zone 6?
Could you grind them up with sticks?
I would not, could not, in Zone 6!
I could not grind them up with sticks.
Or would you mow them up with grass?
And could you take a second pass?
I would not mow them up with grass.
I could not take a second pass!
You don't shred leaves
Or so you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Oh, geez.
If you will let me be,
I will try it.
You will see.
Say!
I like leaves shred and down!
I do! I like them on the ground!
And I would mix in horsey poop.
And I would mix it with the Froup!
And I would shred leaves with Bill_G,
And even moisten them with pee.
I'd shred with Monte, East or West!
I'd even shred with LeslieS.
I'd shred with Alfie, in Zone 6!
I'd gladly grind leaves up with sticks!
And I would mow them up with grass.
And I would take a second pass.
I'd mix them up with used Starbucks.
And happ'ly trade my cars for trucks.
And I would murmur Oui, j'adore,
As I shred leaves forevermore....
I do so like gold leaves and brown!
I do!
I'll spread them on the ground!
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